If You Were a Peruvian Baby . . .

. . . you would wear long underwear, quilted pants, a woolly sweater and hat, and thick socks and booties in sweltering summer weather. You would be assumed to be about to catch your death of cold if you were missing any of these items.
. . . you would be taken into public almost from birth, but for the first three months would be totally covered - head and all - by a thick blanket. Even in the summer.
. . . complete strangers would call you "fatty" (gordito) and pinch your legs, arms, and face.
. . . your first solid food would probably be pumpkin.
. . . you would start half days of school Monday to Friday at the age of two, but would still be referred to as a baby at the age of four.
. . . people would find out if you were a girl or a boy by asking if you were a "little woman" (mujercita) or "little man" (hombrecito, varoncito).
. . . you would be worn on your mother's back in a brightly woven sling.
. . . all prepackaged baby food available to you, including rice and barley cereals, would be sweetened with sugar, but all your teething and fever medication options would be sugarfree and vile.
. . . your socioeconomic status and the duration of your breastfeeding relationship with your mother would be inversely proportionate.
. . . not only would all of your disposable diapers, wet wipes, etc be heavily scented, and not only would every brand of laundry detergent carry baby powder scent (same detergent, but perfumed for babies), but a wide array of baby eaux de cologne would be available for your caregivers to use on you.